A Guest Post by Lana Calloway
As my husband and I approach our two-year anniversary, I find myself reflecting on the past two years and everything I learned about my new roommate. They say that the honeymoon ends, and it does, but not in the way that saying implies. Our honeymoon was beautiful, spent in a beach-front cottage in a balmy, coastal Florida town. We spent a week sipping mimosas and riding beach cruisers around our lazy days spent without any serious thoughts about the plans beyond our time there.
When we returned from the honeymoon, the 9-5 shuffle began again, and then there was a transfer in jobs and a move to another state. All of a sudden, the honeymoon was over. Not in the way we felt about each other, or how in love we were, or even how we treated or touched each other. There was just a small shift in our relationship, nothing than an outsider would recognize, but one I saw in the ‘us.’
We were a team, working together, and with both of us doing well in our careers, there was also a very shared sense of working towards the same financial goals. And one thing I forgot to mention? We also run a business together. After a large boost in sales forced a quick growth of our company, we found ourselves also looking into the expansion of our worksite. After we rented our new space, connected our new high-speed Ethernet in the office and ordered several desk and chairs, we began the hiring process.
Again, our shared sense of togetherness and teamwork became evident, and we found that the better we became at making good business decisions together, the better we became at making good decisions for us together. I began to see an easy marriage tip unfolding: sometimes emotional decisions can be better made when looking at from a business standpoint. I’m not saying that you should remove emotion from your marriage; heavens no! I’m just saying that some big decisions that can often be swayed heavily by emotion can certainly learn a thing or two from business decisions. For example, after being a couple of almost eight years, the topic of children will undoubtedly arise in discussion. The decision can be easily influenced by emotion, but we approached it at first from a business standpoint.
We made a list of all of the real financial costs involved, a list of all the aspects of our lives would change and how we would handle those, and the infamous list of pros and cons. We found that emotionally, we were ready, but on paper, we needed to give it a little more time.
When you love someone deeply and you’re passionate about your relationship, it’s easy to let emotions sway decisions, in times when those decisions should be carefully looked at, if even from a business position. The honeymoon doesn’t have to end, but it does need to change with your changing relationship, making the best decisions for your new team.